(My Kids and I)
On Mother’s Day I was fortunate enough to have my two guys take me out for a day on the town, we went to the show, we went to my favorite Fish and Chips place, and got to wander around my favorite soap store. I did nothing I didn’t want to that day, and spent it relaxing, napping, taking pictures, and just getting to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. I was able to realize how fortunate I am that I could be afforded these luxuries, and reminded that not everyone has any sort of designated day off like this. For some, Mother’s Day is just another in a long line of days that seep into the other. I should know, I was one such mother who felt I could just not catch a break, even on Mother’s Day. Don’t get me wrong I love my kids, I would do anything for them, and I have, but as a Mom there are those days where you just need five minutes to yourself. Not five minutes of thinking about all you have to finish, and what time to start dinner, and the laundry should be done soon, or the kids want to go to the pool and there is five minutes to stop, but an actual, all to yourself, think of nothing but that quiet peaceful moment you are in. These moments are few and far in between for many mom’s. Now not to say Dads out there don’t get overwhelmed, and even share similar experiences, I just speak of my experience as a mom who always has a million things in the air and have had the recent luxury of being able to take time to myself to just do stuff that makes me happy. So back to the moment I realized I should be enjoying Mother’s Day, and realize how lucky I truly am.
(Angel daughter ;))
We went to an early showing of the new Captain America movie at the theatre. Our experience getting in was fine, got our popcorn and soda pop and found our seats were isolated from most of the crowd so that was nice. A minute or two before the show started a small troop of children came in with one parent, a hopeful looking mom. They all sat down with all the quietness children in a movie theatre with popcorn and candy bags can muster. My husband I gave each other the look of, “Here we go!” and I looked over at my son, I was so glad he is of an age that he knows how to come in and quietly take his seat and wait for the movie. The previews started and as usual there was hushed whispers still going on, but all in all it was a normal time at the movies. The movie started and about five minutes into it started the questions, the seat kicking, the bag openings, and the whispers of little ones who were in awe that their favorite super hero was on the screen. I found myself getting frustrated, thinking to myself, “Why of all days would this mother bring all these little kids with her to the theatre today?”, and “Seriously, doesn’t she realize this is a movie theatre where people go to enjoy themselves and watch movies, not listen to other people’s kids?”, and when the kid behind me got restless and kept kicking or bumping into my seat, I could not help but turn back, look at the kid, then glare at the mom, who was busy dealing with the kids who sat on the other side of her, no doubt trying to stop them from throwing popcorn at each other or some other mischievous act of child boredom.
(Grumpy son)
Frustrated I looked back over at my kid, and thought, “I know he is older, but hot dang if my kid acted like this in a theatre I would take him home, I would never have brought him here in the first place knowing how this is the likely outcome of any outing… I would die of embarrassment, and I would never be able to go out again…never again be able to enjoy a show without fear of inconveniencing others, never again able to walk into a supermarket and not be judged because my kid is having a meltdown over the fact that he can’t use his harmonica right now, go anywhere without feeling judged by these people who know nothing about me or what I am going through but are solely judging me on this one instance they see me ‘dealing’ with my kid in.”
(My Mom and two of my brothers)
It was during this seemingly long, yet it took about 3 seconds, moment that I realized what an asshole I was. Not too long ago that mom was me. Not too many years back I was the one the angry glazes and judgmental looks were aimed at, in that moment I remembered what it was like to want to take my kids to the movies, and made them promise to behave with rewards like popcorn, and soda pop, only to be horrified when their young minds lost interest on what was happening on the screen, and would much rather crawl under the seats and pretend they were in a cave. Or the moments when they too wanted to understand everything going on, and would ask questions to better understand what was going on in the movie. It was in this brief moment that I realized this young mom is probably doing the best she can. Who am I sitting here in my movie theatre throne to judge her for this? Who am I to make her outing harder by casting mean glances in her direction when her young child is not the epitome of perfection? If anything I should support this fellow mother. I should smile at her when she apologizes for her kids being loud, or energetic. I should be able to convey with my attitude and even go so far as to not notice when her kid bumps into my chair, or kicks it on the side repeatedly, I feel in this small way I can help make her Mother’s Day pass a little more smoothly. To some this may seem a ridiculous act, only welcoming more people to come and be inconsiderate at the movies. To me, and I hope to this young mom, it is merely a kind act to lessen stress of yet another potentially embarrassing outing.
Now I could jump into a big long rant about expectations and society’s expectations being all screwy, and emphasis being put on all the wrong places for today’s youth, but I won’t, not today anyway. Today I want to remind myself to continue to be thankful for all I do have.
(Yeah, that's me)
After the movie theatre we headed down to Morro Bay to my favorite little fish place, Toganzzini’s Dockside Too, got to listen to an incredibly funny banjo player and enjoy my guys. I was able to walk down with my guys to the Babylonian Soap Co. – my favorite place to go and smell things and get new soaps and lotions – and I was able to make the guys stop in their tracks so I could capture moments with my camera. I know I would have enjoyed all these moments whether or not I had the experience I did at the theatre, but I like to think it made this experience all the more enjoyable. All the little things that may have annoyed me and put negativity into our trip seemed to give me more reasons to enjoy our outing.
(My guys)
When we got to Toganzzini’s the line was not only out the door it was out the entrance to the patio, and there was no seating. I could not help but think, I could be home making lunch for everyone right now, dealing with the prep, the assembly, and the clean-up, I would much rather be standing out here in Morro Bay with the sun shining down on us, not having to make lunch or worry about the cleanup, or anything else. There were numerous instances like this throughout our trip that made me realize in every moment I am lucky to have what I have, and in who I have in my life. I could have spent the day concentrating on all the little things that went “wrong” or I could stop and enjoy the day and bask in the knowledge that I have everything I need, a great family. Thanks to the struggling mom at the movie theatre for giving me a greater appreciation for what, and who, I have in my life. To make a long story short, let’s continue to work towards a world where we build each other up, rather than tear each other down.
