Empowerment

“The Beauty of Empowering others is that your own power is not diminished in the process.” ~Barbara Coloroso~

According to the dictionary the definition of the word empowerment is “to give power or authority to; to enable or permit. This is a powerful tool that can be used for both good and bad reasons. I’d like to say I always empower people around me for the better, but I know full well I have empowered people in the past to abuse the privilege.

I did not set out to get hurt, though maybe others would see this as just another self-destructive path I set off down, full well knowing what I was heading into. However, I like to concentrate on the times I have used my powers for good. The times I see as opportunities to pass it forward. I believe the world can always use more love, more positivity, and definitely better intentioned empowerment.  My goal is to continue to empower people to love themselves, love others and be the best person they can be, but that goal starts at home. My part in a roller derby league has helped me a long way in getting to the realization that I am stronger than I give myself credit for.

I am a constant work in progress and I believe while I need to work on me, I do not have to put others on hold to do so, I can continue to empower others to believe in themselves, while empowering myself. I am not saying this is easy; I have a bad habit of giving others power over me. I try to be more aware of doing it. However, I am human, and prone to mistakes, trying not to repeat history while finding myself in the middle of repeating it. When I allow others to affect me by their actions, moods, words, etc., I have unknowingly empowered those people to be able to affect my mood, decisions, and even my thoughts. When I let people alter my course because I am afraid of how it will make them feel, how they will react, and so forth that is a destructive pattern of empowerment. I am trying to stop that. And this is where all those beautiful little doubts come in and cloud my judgement and I start to rationalize that maybe it isn’t so bad after all, I mean if it has worked up until now why should it not continue to work with a few bumps here and there right?! The only thing I can do is realize I have the option to let the bullshit flow on by. As a friend tells me, and I may get this wrong, “If someone comes up and asks you to literally hold a pile of bullshit you do not have to hold it, you can say no.” So I have the option to just step over the bullshit, walk by it, tell the person, “No, I will not hold this bullshit for you.” But like I said I am working on that.

So while I am working on this, how can I use my powers for good? It can range anywhere from a simple smile when coming in contact with another person, to making sure they know I appreciate them, or let them know I see their potential, encouraging them to explore their talents. I have so many options, why waste them? I have found that sometimes all it takes is simple gratitude towards others. I try to make sure I thank my friends when they help me. I let them know how grateful I am for them. I can be talking to them about a problem I am having trying to make the perfect omelet or how a meteor just came and destroyed my life, simple gratitude goes a long way to making others aware of what a difference they make in my life. That is me giving my friends the power to affect my moods, course, or actions in a positive direction. I choose to believe it makes them feel good to know they are wanted and needed. I know I feel good when I am able to help someone out with anything, I feel empowered to help change the world for the better.

I believe we all can help empower others, in good ways. Giving others encouragement to pursue their dreams, being there to hold them up and help them face down their fears and self-doubts. I find encouragement, praise, and love go a lot further in empowering people to continue to strive to do what they want, to meet their goals, and to achieve their dreams.